written august 2019
We might forget what it was like when we were in a time, another time, in another lifetime… As I believe we are composed of many lifetimes in one. It’s all one lifetime, truly, with a plethora of experiences, but the transformation of our minds and our beliefs makes it difficult to say that we are one singular person floating through one life. There’s so much that happens to a mere individual that it’s as if multiple brains merge, and mix, and melt together to cook an ever-growing mind that never solidifies. It’s easier to describe that whole journey through many different selves, lives, like a cat’s nine lives or the new game that appears when a player dies yet the player is the very same.
A phoenix, rebuilt from its own ashes over and over. A tree that wears many crowns, while standing on the very same ground for decades, within millions of skies that bring snow, sunshine, hurricanes, except every time it is rooted open for whatever the day carries. Sometimes I feel like I overrate life, but perhaps even so I am underrating it. But then again, that is by comparison. We compare ourselves so often that we may even feel bad for thinking or being the way we are. And that’s such a shame. Embrace your mind, sweetheart. Because those who truly see it or appreciate it praise and admire it. You know that. Don’t deprive yourself of that reminder, and of the light your shine brings.
It’s okay to recognize, feel, and struggle with the darkness that we wrestle with, because they’re inevitable, and maybe they don’t ever go away. Don’t deny them, for they are a part of what makes you. Life just like us is composed of paradoxes. But they don’t always have to be this way. It is a struggle, but a blessing in disguise. A wave that we are swimming through. We will come on top and end up surfing the waves and it will be beautiful, and it makes it all the more beautiful because we survived.
We must keep loving ourselves, being a calm within the hurricane. Heal. You’re extraordinary, brilliant, beautiful, amazing in so many ways. The voices in your head, the demons on your shoulders… They are a part of you that will only help you understand, and either remain or escape the unending circles of this, or these, lifetimes. Your spirit is awake and your core is you and expanding alongside you. This moment, this existence, this whole way of being is here and you and everything. Your life, with all its wonderful imperfections and messes and connections and possibilities.
