you know, every day we inhabit this ship that bends joints, locks jaws on things that we then ingest, observes and processes, and… you know, simply lives. And sometimes it feels as if we’re on autopilot.
A pulsating heartbeat reminds us that we’re alive, our stomachs have that uneasy feeling that tells us we probably should eat, but it’s more than that. Days pass on where we might find ourselves in a lull, of seemingly unstoppable scrolling or numbness, or intoxication in whatever poison fits. things just begin again and pass, sunrise after sunset, passing us by and deteriorating our youth, unless… we get up. unless we grab the clock by its hands and dance, heart humming with each tick-tock, breath quickening. We’ve got to get that blood running in our veins every once in a while, because it changes time in some sort of way. It’s got us feeling some type of way. You just know it by fading memory. It’s that kind of feeling we want to have all over again, like loving someone new amidst the heartbreak you’ve endured. Because it’s worth the ride.
I decided to glance at the sky, as I often compel myself to do, because you’d be surprised at how often we humans forget to take a step back from our incessant self-directed steps and recognize the proximity of our ant-selves, in this gigantic air bubble of a home. I remember practically perching by the window of llrh6, gazing down at the tiny people that passed by, but not tiny enough that I couldn’t see their conversations. And none of them looked up, and if they had, they’d see what might look like a haunted window with a woman gaping at them with soulless eyes. Well, not that intense, but it gets the point across. How many rainbows are we missing? How many pairs of eyes are truly on us? Perhaps as you stride across town, or perhaps your frozen silhouette is being devoured by someone you’ve never met. It’s an interesting time we live in.
We’re living in alternate dimensions, where black mirrors grip our gaze & we whirl into an absorbing, alluring virtual black hole of journeys. of efforts to freeze something in time. or to imprint our existence somehow. but the clock spins out of our control.
our lifestyles have evolved to adjust to a little black box. but those Polaroids we submit into an endless swipe of times show only the mere surface of throbbing veins & minds that observe, process, live, experience, and carry on—tenderly, and vulnerably.
there’s no shame in emphasizing our shine, and it’s all only a little dip into our lives. Only bits of stories paused in time, which might as well be staged scenes, we won’t know for sure. By now those moments of staging for the perfect snapshot is becoming a memorable experience by itself, which is just among our evolution. we’ve got stars in our eyes for what’s ahead, because this loop we’re circling may feel trapping… but it is expanding, going into places we’ve never been to before—new dimensions, and new possibilities. there’s so much more we can and need to learn, and do.
Get yourself up from bed, and follow your ability into the throes of the day’s awakening, when you can. whether it be a busy, full day’s worth of work and productivity, or a summer-wrought day of simply being, and breathing. As long as you are alive, and feeling, it’ll be all right. Start today, or try again tomorrow. we’re lurching and pulling forward, perhaps swerving out of control, but we’re figuring it out as we go. just remember, darling—stay awake. It doesn’t matter if it all feels like a dream, or a nightmare—whatever is going on around you, there’s always the power of illusion you can put upon your life, and I hope you can create a healthy one, of awareness, light and hope, and possibility.
