The time has come. It’s funny, they come and go in surges. and it’s like suddenly, a switch turns on and it bubbles out of me, a harmony of words and nameless feelings, that I try to pull out and thread and interpret. The music starts to wave over, not stopping, and I rush to my laptop, because I feel like there is always so much to say, so much to consume and absorb and digest. As I look back I see I have said this, about the magic of transformation in our daily lives, in endless variations. so many times across a lifetime as the timer spins. My seven year old was mesmerized by metamorphosis, insects and their beautiful unfolding, and I tell her it’s going to be okay, and I think she already knew. And the chrysalis mutates.
The blossoms wither and open and everything becomes exposed, except… the unfoldings and peeling backs continue, on and on, days piling over another in a mesmerizing, terrifying compilation of secrets and stories and our realizations coming to the surface. This is why it never stops and I know I shall never stop this chase, this sinking, in all the consciousness beyond mere physicality. Beyond touch, beyond sliding squares and voices of the unheard booming, resounding their thunder across the globe and finding their way into the places they should always have been. Feel your body falling, rising, falling… air and blood merge and throb and feed the pulse of my heart, and it is in moments like this that I feel most grateful to be alive. Fearless.
Smiling because of all of these wounded moments and thoughts and inner demons guiding us are illusions, and we can shape our own truth in what truly makes us feel and that shall seep into our physical doings. Feel, as in everything. And not being ashamed. Tearing the papery-thin walls of the fear to form our own current, and finding a new world of dreams coming true and pushing ourselves ahead, stepping into a zone of the magic we were taught doesn’t exist. Believe, believe in all your heart, in yourself, in embracing your whole entire self and world with all the combinations and brewing devils, angels, molding identities in you and in those you don’t know but share this present time, planet, place with.
The power of unlocking, opening, discovering a new layer, beyond what we have yet to collectively understand… all of it lies in our center. Falling, rising, lungs filling and exhaling. Heart beating, now contentedly, softly. Feel everything you are feeling. Feel.
in all our separate journeys, illusions, realities, dreamworlds and inner demons our chests rise and fall and life falls and rises, hope and resolve falls and rises. but somehow something in us, our bodies, and our subconscious, keeps going. It knows what to do. And so I scramble to find the words, I find meaning, and I also simply… breathe.
And I share this because the only reason I wouldn’t would be because I’d be afraid of peering eyes and their automatic biases. Nah, that’s a demon I’ve come to befriend. I’m thinking about all those demons, those stories, and those full, layered lives of days piled on each other, for miles and miles and full, fleeting lives. I don’t know how to end this but all I know is that I look forward to more layers of days and moments and rise-fall-rises, plus peeling them back, and and and whatever else we end up doing or interpreting as we spin on in this existence. deep breath. small smile. warmth, all over.
