“Brianna, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

I want to be a teacher.

Without a doubt. As a little kid, that was my answer when asked this infamous question – of course! There was just something about teaching – like a natural calling. I’d set my stuffed animals in a circle around me in my room, prop myself on a chair, and teach them lessons. Tell stories. Read books to them. I grew up as an only child, but I sought connection everywhere I went. With animals, with peers, with younger kids. Silkworms. Monkeys jumping off the bed. Hungry catepillars. Pigs running away from wolves. The girl with the rainbow skin. Saying good night to the moon. Stories leaping from the pages, new worlds, and I loved sharing them with younger kids – like when I was a third grader volunteering for the preschool class, or when I had a kindergartener as a reading buddy when I was in the fifth grade. These are valued memories of mine.

But you know, teaching has a bad rap and that kind of scared me away. My original aspiration, naturally, shifted. I often heard more negative things about teaching than positive, and I wasn’t around enough stimuli, classes, or information to convince me otherwise at the time. So, I pursued Psychology and Family Studies. I was just 17 years old when I was first in college, so my focus was on normal 17 year old stuff like finding friends, first of all, and gaining my confidence, and all of these things. Then later, the focus shifted more towards getting my feet wet and building my skills in different areas throughout college, in numerous organizations and fields. But you know what, actually, my deep-rooted interest in education was strong enough that I couldn’t just ignore it entirely. I eventually added Deaf Education on my belt as a second minor even though I could have graduated with the credentials I already had, and stayed an additional year. These were my favorite classes with the best teachers – Dr. Laurene Simms, Dr. Simon Guteng, Dr. Bobbie Jo Kite Herbold, and more! If I could turn back in time I’d have made it my major. But everything happens for a reason, eh? Psychology still comes in handy!

During these years I was also spending my summers working with deaf, HoH, CODA, and hearing (siblings of deaf) children. These were some of the most meaningful parts of my life, as I look back, to work with kids. The most challenging too, but I love challenges – without them, we wouldn’t grow.

Then, I graduated. I took a captioning gig that continued for the next 2 ½ years. A few months later, I also interviewed for a part-time position at Gallaudet in February 2020. I was set to start in March 2020. And then, wouldn’t you guess, COVID hit. Our world turned upside down. That in-person job turned into a virtual job, and it was just temporary, I was assured, but little did we know how serious it would become. So, after that, I hadn’t looked back and in the next three years I worked at home. This was very convenient, and wonderful for many reasons. I could travel. I could work on the couch if I wanted. I could take breaks, be in the comfort of my own home, and always be with my partner and dog. It’s also an universal truth that there are pros and cons to everything, and it started to hit me more and more over time that I was missing out on the vital part of what I so desperately yearned for growing up, after years and years of being the only deaf in a hearing world – human connection. Even though I could sign in meetings, and could go out and socialize, it wasn’t the same. I’m almost 26 years old, and since I was 22, I’ve been spending the vast majority of my time at home, staring at a computer screen.

But I just kept trying to improve my life in other ways, while continuing at my former job. To my surprise, in the spring I was invited to become commencement speaker at MSSD, my alma mater, for the Class of 2023’s graduation. When I entered campus after many years, my heart was beating so hard – and it soared. This was so, so special, to say hi and give warm hugs to my former teachers, counselors, coaches, and old classmates and friends who were now staff themselves. I forgot what it felt like, to be around people, to have eye contact and exchange smiles, to be surrounded by a beautiful 360 landscape, to move my body, and to be in that kind of environment. Connecting with the seniors, sitting with them at lunch and chatting about who they are and what they aspire to be, was the highlight of that visit. That led to my epiphany. It made me realize something. I had so much fun, I felt endlessly rejuvenated, and it gave me a zest for life and hope for the future. It woke me up, and it also woke my element that had been dormant for a while. Hey… maybe what I’ve been trying to figure out could just be… What I’m doing for the majority of my days. I could be in an environment like this. Teaching.

These questions kept repeating in my head:
“Who are you, really? Who do you want to be, what kind of impact do you want to make?
How do you TRULY want to live?
…And why aren’t you doing it?”

I want to be a teacher. I’ve always known this about myself, before the world got to me.

That trip helped bring me back to myself, by making me experience feelings, emotions, things that made me feel like life had so much meaning. Like, life can be better than this. There’s so much to love, to enjoy, to experience… If only… But that required changing my life. Like, entirely stopping and entering new territory. Still, I didn’t want to leave just yet, and I was feeling all of the feelings, thinking about that. After graduation, I ran into a group of teachers at La Coescha who were celebrating the last day of school, and they cheerily welcomed me and my friend to their table. We chatted and chatted, about the students, school, life, everything. I was still riding a high, in disbelief that there’s this reality that has been going on at the same time I’ve been sitting at my desk, all these days, typing away, you know? They were out there, walking from room to room, being out in the world and coming to work every day to encounter a new, different challenge, a new lesson, witnessing their students grow, connecting with these young humans, and immersing into their own little school family. I marveled at the community that these teachers and staff had with each other – the ability to just come together and be part of a shared mission to face a new challenge every day, because they all believed in their students, and were there to teach, and support and empower their students to be themselves and be the best they could be, you know? Especially at a school for the deaf. Signing teachers, for deaf and hard of hearing students – a safe space where our language is the primary, in a world where we’re majorly shunned, ignored, dehumanized. I mean, a deaf school is like a Hogwarts. A magical place where wizards or deafies can be themselves and live life to the fullest in a world that doesn’t always accept or support us. Hogwarts was where Harry Potter had been happiest. The same is true for so many of us, in environments like that – a deaf school.

Man, the memories made at my 4 ½ years at California School for the Deaf, Riverside and Model Secondary School for the Deaf? Priceless. Some of the BEST years of my life. Flying hands, pure communication access, effortless laughter and understanding, and connection. All the normal kid stuff, but also, more than that. Growing confidence. Home. I could truly become myself, and I started to realize my potential – because with so many role models around me, who were just like me, I no longer saw being deaf as a curse or something that made me unable. Finally, I equated deafness with magic. The magic that we can create, telling stories. With our faces, our body expressions. Our special ways of seeing the world and connecting. Our culture, and our community. To be Deaf is a superpower, and to be at a deaf school is a beautiful, glorious safe haven, but also an accelerator that inspires, encourages, and supports its students to soar and reach for the sky. To chase our dreams, make them happen, and give back to our community and our future, too.

So, right after that trip to MSSD for the Class of 2023’s graduation, I landed, and immediately went on to open my laptop and apply to Texas School for the Deaf. I had already been eyeing a flyer from their elementary school’s IG page encouraging applicants to apply to become a teacher for a while, but didn’t act on it – until that night. I applied. While I was writing my cover letter, just fully pouring from my heart, I knew that I actually really, REALLY wanted to do this. And surprisingly, I got an interview. Then even more surprisingly, I got the job! The day I found out, I’m telling you, I nearly burst – in a good way. I was in shock the entire day. My dream was finally happening, is this for real?!

This, inevitably, came with a very tough decision to take a huge leap and leave my job. It was probably the scariest and most uncomfortable thing I’ve done, but I thought long and hard about it… And deep inside, I knew that the fire ignited by this, my element, was screaming at me, telling me to go for it. That fire inside me, that dream, and the OPPORTUNITY?! I couldn’t ignore it, nope. Even though I had perfectly good job, a really good one, with a DREAM team of amazing people, I had to accept that just because I have something good doesn’t mean I shouldn’t ignore what’s calling me. What I feel meant to do. It was incredibly bittersweet and it still is, because I miss my dozanü team dearly. I will be forever grateful for their support, and for all I’ve learned from my time there. I’ll always be rooting for dozanü’s continued growth and süccess, and for each and every one of these people in the team.

So, yeah. That’s my story. I’m currently on my break right now, in between, relishing it as much as I can. My first day at Texas School for the Deaf is right around the corner. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I feel, I’m grinning as I write this. I know it’s going to be challenging, it’s going to be an entirely new experience, and so many changes are coming – I’m definitely going to make mistakes, and face a steep learning curve. Because for one, I’m going from remote work to an in-person environment where I’ll be learning new things, new skills, and be with a lot of little humans! But you know what? I’m expecting the unexpected. I’m SO up for the challenge. I’m ecstatic to meet the other teachers and staff, and the STUDENTS and their parents!!!

After all, challenges are what keeps life exciting, what makes sure we’re always growing and learning, right? I don’t want to continue to feel like I’m regressing socially and mentally, with a lack of social experiences and lack of stimuli – the kind that I know I should have, that I aspire for. I want nothing more but to be part of something that has a very special place in my heart – working with our deaf children, and to be part of a tight knit community. To be on campus with my students, learning right alongside them everyday, and do as much as possible to create a safe, welcoming, supportive, and encouraging environment for them. All of what I just said, and more that has been left unsaid, aligns sooo much with the person I want to be and with what I really want to be doing in my life. I’m still in disbelief about all this, but tru biz, I’m DOING IT.

This is a pretty big deal and change for me, and it’s a big announcement to make, but here you are. I have zero regrets. I’m so excited to bring my zest for life and love for learning to the classroom, and for all that my first year of teaching will bring. I can finally tell my inner child this: “You did it!” And I’ll end this here. I’m not going to say much more now, because it’s all new, this is just the beginning, and I’m prepared for a hard, but rewarding, year. I’m ready for a wild ride as a new Ranger! I look forward to the updates I’ll have to share, once I go through this whirlwind of a journey. My dream, realized. Here I come, TSD!